What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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