Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
