You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
