She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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