Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
