She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Randomize
