you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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