u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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