i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
