My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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