I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
