Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
