I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
