i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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