I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
