I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
no you cant smoke seaweed
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
