She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
When did angry sex become our thing?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
