i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
