I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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