the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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