Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
