you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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