How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
