He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
