I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I am one with the molecules
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
