Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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