remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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