Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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