I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i don't like sucking hair
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
