Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
