I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
