i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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