I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
