We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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