Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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