If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
