Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
