Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
