Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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