So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
