he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
