i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Panties = found
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