Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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