I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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