My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
