carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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