And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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