you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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