smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Enjoy the penises
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize