My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
