we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I think I died a long time ago.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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