Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
