Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
