You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
