The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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