We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
