You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
