You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
