mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
