I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
