weddingsv make me drug and hornr
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
