My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
