SEEEEXXX PLEASE
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
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