It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
