A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
