Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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