That's when you crack a 10am beer
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
